You put your dick WHERE?



You’d have to have your head under a rock to miss #piggate. It signals the return to parliament and the end of the silly season. You’d almost be forgiven for thinking that the Tories had something to hide, some big scandal coming up along the way or perhaps they do. Perhaps this is the latest detraction story from their abysmal record on the refugee crisis. Cameron is up there with the most militant, entrenched Hungarian politician with his rhetoric and actions. ‘The swarms of migrants’ are not gaining traction in the UK. ‘Build higher fences’ and keep them out. Cameron is right on cue when he marshals the xenophobic excesses in ‘Great’ Britain into ‘Fortress’ Britain. He is guilty of pedalling the myth that multicultural societies do not work. They do. The proof is in London and he just must just try harder.

It is interesting in this day and age that the vile accusation is a matter of one man’s word against another. Neither had the benefit of a smart phone and camera to record the incident. I presume the publishers of Lord Ashcroft’s autobiography must have had a team of lawyers swarm all over the claims. And that by the way, My Cameron is the correct use of the verb swarm. It relates back to the subject and while wasps and lawyers are fair game, fleeing families risking death are not.

Of course, while smart phones did not exist in the last century, Twitter, Youtube and Instagram do today. In fact, we can dispense with the formalities of truth and imagine up any number of memes with Cameron and pigs. There is even a song out already with Mr Cameron ‘getting piggy with it’. The jokes are very funny, as long as you not the prime minister of the UK. Of course, it could be worse, he might have been the president of the greatest Western Super power inserting his phallus into a living receptacle. And then be grilled by Grand Jury as if it were a matter of state.

Which is an interesting point. Why should we be concerned about where the prime minister put his member while a student, especially as the object was dead? It is pretty gross and not really a vote getter but does it diminish his ability to lead his party? I would argue his actions regarding the refugees, or rather his lack of proper action, is way more damning.

Of course, this propensity to insert dicks into objects has been covered at length before. Back in the 1997, Fiona Giles, feminist and scholar approached dozens of well-known female artists, poets, authors and scholars and asked them what they would do if they woke and found themselves genitally altered. The resulting book ‘If you had a dick for a day’ provoked funny, witty and sometimes sad responses from the 50 or so women selected to reply. But I don’t recall anyone suggesting sticking their dick into things, just to see if it fitted (insert urban myths of vacuum cleaners stuck here). Although Germaine Greer bucked the trend and said if she was given a long enough one she might try having sex with herself.

Still, women tend not to engage in such merriment. In fact, I don’t seem to recall, ever, hearing about a sorority game that encouraged women to insert their bits into dead animals. I could be wrong of course. On the internet much strangeness can be found.

There were two interesting fallouts from this account. The first is the dark dystopian TV series Black Mirror by Charlie Brooker which featured the prime minister having carnal relations with a live pig. Mr Brooker has been interviewed all over the media, and indeed went live on Twitter as soon as the story broke, to confirm that he had no knowledge of the prime minister engaging in such an act. One wonders instead did Lord Ashcroft watch the series and did it jog his memory? Art influencing life in reverse perhaps?

Or the second, more cynical approach lies with a repeated story about US president Lyndon B Johnson in an early congressional campaign. Johnson apparently told one of his aides to spread the rumour that his opponent had sexual congress with pigs. His aide rebutted the idea, saying they could not spread out and out lies, to which Johnson replied: ‘Of course it ain’t true but I want the son of a bitch to deny it.’

And right on cue Mr Cameron has come out to say that he will not dignify the accusation with a denial. Which is a rose by any other name.



Get up and Go – Some Blabs in Advance

Sligo October 17, 2015  #GUAG2015

LIsten to Breifne Earley talking about his Pedal the Planet and whether or not he is a YAMIL (Young-Aged Man in Lycra) in advance of the Get Up and Go Conference in Sligo on October 17



Get Up and Go – Inspirational conference to come to the NorthWest

Motivational Team includes Puttnam, Breen and Gates


An Inspirational Conference aimed at people wanting to make their dreams a reality is being hosted in Sligo on October 17th. The theme is For your dreams and pays homage to Yeats’ home and poetry. The Get Up and Go team have pulled together an amazing and inspiring range of motivational speakers creating a momentous conference in Sligo and the Northwest.

The speakers are all trailblazers, role models and people who inspire. They have had the courage to step outside their comfort zones and followed their dreams into new areas of self-expression, contribution and power. Labour Peer and Filmmaker David Puttnam, Entrepreneur and Secret Millionaire Jim Breen, and life changing, mountain climbing heroine Teena Gates head up a speaker list that will challenge, motivate and change your life. This is one event that you cannot afford to miss.

The Get Up and Go conference is the second annual event organised by the providers of the popular Get Up and Go Diaries which have sold almost 200,000 copies over the past eight years. Up to 500 participants are expected to attend.

We invite you to register and come listen to the following motivators:

Lord David Puttnam – founder of Atticus Education which has been operating since August 2012 and is based in Skibbereen. . Among the institutions to which seminars are being delivered are Griffith Film School in Brisbane, LASALLE College of the Arts in Singapore, the University of Sunderland and University College Cork.

Jim Breen  – founder and CEO of PulseLearning. In 2012 he took part in the televised ‘Secret Millionaire’ where he learnt about mental health issues and a Suicide Awareness Group. As a result he set up the Cycle Against Suicide. This year the charity will involve 7,500 cyclists in a sea of orange cycling around the island of Ireland over 14 days.

Padraig O’Maillie – creator of Smacht, an executive training business that motivates people to realise more of their potential. He is the author of the best selling book, Rocking Horse Sh*t which applied coping strategies learnt from a serious illness.

Teena Gates – is a best-selling author, journalist, radio and TV presenter, magazine columnist and adventure blogger who lost 13 stone during a year long journey to find herself. Her belief that you can achieve the impossible if you Dream, Dare and Do has dramatically changed her life and the lives of those around her, as she urges everyone to walk their way to a better future by putting ‘one foot in front of the other’.

Damien Brennan – has a background in hospitality, holding senior positions with Failte Ireland in the NorthWest. Although now retired, he has taken up a new career, that of being a Yeats expert. An immediate past president of the International Yeats Society, he brings coachloads of poetry tourists into his home to talk about Yeats.

Teejay Dowe – is an experienced, energetic and enthusiastic motivational speaker, published author, international coach, Master Neurostrategist and NLP Trainer, TeeJay not only has the right qualifications and credentials to make a difference to you as an individual andyour inbusiness, she will captivate you with her style and leave you feeling inspired and ready to take action for yourselves as individuals and the teams that you work within.

Miriam Byrne – is a true entrepreneur. Told by her teachers not to aim too high, she managed to get an interview with Department of Biochemistry in Oxford – not only did she get the job without a degree, they insisted she studied for one while in the job. Returning to Ireland she worked at UCD before setting up City Analysts. Now in business 17 years, City Analysts has grown to become a leading environmental analysis company. Twenty three people are employed in two laboratories based in Dublin and Shannon.

Breifne Early – is a true example of how going for your dreams can save your life. Five years ago he was suffering with depression, lonely, single, overweight, unhappy and contemplating giving up on life altogether. However, through a series of serendipitous events (and dates) Breifne not only decided not to go through with ending his painful life, but to set about designing a new one and gave himself a target of 10 life-altering challenges to complete over the next 13 months. From there it was but a short hop to pedalling 18,000 miles through 27 countries to raise awareness of Suicide. He is now writing a book on the experience.


The conference is MC’d by Claire Rowan – broadcaster, columnist and public speaker.

Claire presents the Consumer Show on Ocean FM every Tuesday, She also presents Sligo County Matters for Irish TV and has contributed on Marian Finucane Show and Ray Darcy’s Show and Newstalk. Claire has been doing the Newspaper Review weekly on RTE’s Morning Edition for the last two years and is currently working on a 7 piece radio documentary which will be aired after Christmas.

In this event you will:

– discover what it takes to make your dreams a reality

– understand that dreams are necessary and valuable as guideposts to our future

– learn how to have your dreams not only survive but thrive in today’s fast moving world

– find out that your dreams may have simply gotten lost in the busy confusion of life

– have an opportunity to reawaken and explore some of your most precious dreams

– get clear on what fears might be stopping you going for your dreams

– see beyond current obstacles to new opportunities that will make your dreams come true.

This one day – ticket only event – will take place in the Clarion Hotel Sligo, on October 17th 2015.

Early bird tickets (until the middle of September) are €55.

For more information, please visit