Cindy Gallop – if she ran the world…

Aspire Magazine ran my article on Cindy Gallop on the cover of September magazine.

 

It was probably the hand action that secured the success of the micro talk at TED2009, that or the fact that Cindy Gallop had broken TED’s porn cherry with the description of her own sex life, the merits of hardcore porn and a personal preference not to watch sex films that resembled open heart surgery. In just ten minutes, a global sensation was born and a Cindy Gallop’s fame washed out of advertising circles and into mainstream social consciousness. Her diminutive frame and well-articulated vocabulary were at direct odds with her subject matter: the creeping ubiquity of porn and its damaging effect on society. However, Gallop is not anti porn, on the contrary she is a discerning consumer of it, but she worries about the effect that male dominated porn has on an impressionable younger generation, both male and female.

Gallop explained her problem and how she encountered at first hand the direct impact of porn on Generation Y, or GenY. In short, she dates GenY men and has sex with them. This point is only of interest as Gallop would be considered a cougar, and is somewhere in her fifties. She did not seek this departure, but during a campaign for an internet dating client while still working in advertising, she joined a dating site to see what it was all about. At the top of her field, single and very busy with work, she did not want a relationship and stated as much in her profile. To her initial surprise, this nugget of information proved very popular and she was inundated with offers of sex and non-committal relationships from young men.

Gallop stresses that she was not seeking young men and she was moreover very discerning in her choice of dates. This is a critical point as it shuts down those who might argue that her experience was slanted because of her circumstances. Gallop chose to date exceptional young men, at least one encounter mutated into a long term relationship. She is a very intelligent woman; she chose not to date unsavoury types.  But in dating younger men she came across very different sexual mores that had not been prevalent in men her own age or indeed during her previous sexual experiences. There was a whole range of new sexual behaviour that had moved directly from porn into real life and it was not a forward step.  To read more, please visit Aspire Magazine and start your free trial now

 

Argument in Favour of Fifty Shades

(this article first appeared in www.TheDailyShift.com on Saturday 4, August 2012)

 

Guest contributor Jillian Godsil reveals why she believes E.L. James’s infamous novel Fifty Shades of Grey has had a positive impact on modern society and is liberating women around the world…

 

Yes, that ubiquitous book again. It’s the name on everyone’s lips and it’s still flying off the shelves at an amazing rate. Everyone is calling it ‘mummy porn’ and the idea is that eBooks have liberated women and they can read erotica without anyone knowing.

There are some very funny jokes about the Fifty Shades face on the Luas. The trick is to look at women reading Kindles on public transport and guess if they are reading erotica. It’s called the Fifty Shades face and it’s a public version of a woman’s orgasm face.

Actually, we’ve leapfrogged past the part where women are reading erotica discretely; we’ve already gone well past that little hurdle. Women are openly talking about it, women of all ages, and the sales of the physical paper back are through the roof. So it’s not as though women are reading it on the sly. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

Instead, what has happened is a revelation. Women like reading erotica. It’s the polite end of porn. Porn, while also increasingly pervasive, is largely dominated by men, so the content tends to be male centric. It is also disturbing as children as young as seven have admitted viewing porn. The gatekeepers of decency haven’t got a hope as porn is so firmly available everywhere. It’s not that porn is intrinsically bad, it’s just that it is predominantly skewed to a male stereotype. This is another conversation but have a look at what Cindy Gallop of makelovenotporn.tv has to say on the subject.

Back to erotica. Women like reading erotica. This has been known for a long time. Women have known for a long time that the largest sex organ is the brain. Men find this a little hard to grasp. They don’t understand the popularity of Fifty Shades: ‘There are no pictures’ is often the puzzled cry. The fact is that women like to imagine their own pictures and erotica allows them to do just that. Women also typically like to find a context for their lust, so a plot is helpful. This concept is behind the idea that foreplay begins at breakfast, women like to be warmed up and not cold taken.

So while women know they like erotica, the problem was where to find it. Chick lit has the context but limited actual erotic writing. There are only a couple of well known names in this field; Anais Nin wrote literary erotica, Nancy French curated women’s fantasies, Erica Jong coined the term the ‘zipless fuck’ and Julie Burchill played fast and loose with her female character in Ambition. But those are only four names and their styles are so vastly different it would be unusual to find them all on the same person’s bookshelf (ok, they are all on mine).

The beauty of Fifty Shades of Grey is that people know it is an erotic book. It is all about the sex.

It is not terribly well written, the style harks to Twilight. If you love Twilight, then great. It’s very Mills and Boon, but with nipple clamps. The main character is borderline hateful with her great skin and multiple orgasms without Mr Grey going anywhere near her clitoris. She also has an inner goddess that I would personally like to strangle.

Christian Grey is of course young, gorgeous and filthy rich. His jeans hang off his hips and it appears he has a very attractive penis. Someone once commented that their wife wouldn’t let him tie her up as Mr Grey does, only for the wife to retort that not only did Mr Grey have all the above favourable attributes, he didn’t pick his toenails during episodes of CSI.

However, all of those criticisms are irrelevant. The book has sold to date in excess of 20 million copies and is a by word for erotica. I personally want to thank E.L. James for breaking the glass ceiling on women’s reading. And yes, I am writing my very own erotic novel and so am very grateful for the newly popularised genre.

 

Jillian Godsil is on twitter @jilliangodsil and her blog is www.JillianGodsil.com.  Her books are available on Amazon.